{"id":50831,"date":"2024-04-12T14:10:58","date_gmt":"2024-04-12T18:10:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/now-what-what-now\/"},"modified":"2024-08-24T13:06:03","modified_gmt":"2024-08-24T17:06:03","slug":"now-what-what-now","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/fr\/now-what-what-now\/","title":{"rendered":"[Edition 120] Now What?!? What!?! Now?!?"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"50831\" class=\"elementor elementor-50831 elementor-50618\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section data-particle_enable=\"false\" data-particle-mobile-disabled=\"false\" class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-6ed24ac8 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"6ed24ac8\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-d78460d\" data-id=\"d78460d\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2595821a elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"2595821a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Now What?!? What!?! Now?!?<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-79df5618 elementor-widget elementor-widget-post-info\" data-id=\"79df5618\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"post-info.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<ul class=\"elementor-inline-items elementor-icon-list-items elementor-post-info\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<li class=\"elementor-icon-list-item elementor-repeater-item-842a3a8 elementor-inline-item\" itemprop=\"datePublished\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/fr\/2024\/04\/12\/\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"fas fa-calendar\"><\/i>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-text elementor-post-info__item elementor-post-info__item--type-date\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<time>avril 12, 2024<\/time>\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<li class=\"elementor-icon-list-item elementor-repeater-item-202b3c4 elementor-inline-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"far fa-clock\"><\/i>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-text elementor-post-info__item elementor-post-info__item--type-time\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<time>2:10 pm<\/time>\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<\/ul>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-36af16f elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"36af16f\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"900\" height=\"600\" src=\"https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/IMG_2845.jpg\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-image-50622\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/IMG_2845.jpg 900w, https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/IMG_2845-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/IMG_2845-768x512.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 900px) 100vw, 900px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2e340f8 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"2e340f8\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tThe high winds vigorously turned the rain into a wonderful display of abstract drops over my bedroom windows all night&#8230; It led me to sit on the edge of a bed that ain\u2019t mine to watch the transcending spectacle of arhythmic motions falling in their own melodies, while Leonard was asleep on my lap&#8230;\n<br><br>\nIt felt good, peaceful\u2026 It reminded me of sweet sensations, memories of a different time when I used to do the same with a scared MacKaye pressing himself on my chest on every occasion, while the warm Virginian summer was turning the twilight sky into a magnificent mosaic of dancing bright lights and all sorts of colorful shades of lullabies. Intimate fireworks illuminated our barely-awake imagination with secret marvels even darkness wouldn\u2019t be able to keep away from anyone who would dare look beyond their fears of thunders or jaded blinded eyes.\n<br><br>\nI find it incredible how just a simple moment can so vibrantly revive the most sacred souvenirs there are, when we are disposed to be amazed&#8230; as we&rsquo;re mesmerized by what could be defined as the simplest instant there is, by those who have stopped believing in any possible benevolent sensation seemingly offered by \u00ab\u00a0something\u00a0\u00bb that can\u2019t be seen or that can\u2019t be comprehended. The \u201cinvisible consciousness\u00a0\u00bb, as I like to call it. It could as well have simply been the early winds of spring, but I find it comforting to allow myself to be astonished once in a while, especially with everything I\u2019ve been through in the past and what I\u2019m still struggling with sometimes. The mind can turn its lack of understanding into irony, as much as a broken heart can rapidly wrap itself in distrust. Sorrows have a way of turning dreams into fatalism. I\u2019m a natural skeptic\u2026 And if skepticism has never been the \u201cissue\u201d preventing me from dwelling in the most masterful beauties of selfless kindness, it&rsquo;s corrupting my very desire to wonder for more clues to define its essence\u2026 It\u2019s feeding my propensity to suspect deception and deceitfulness in any of those caring forms of pure blessings. I guess it explains why I can be so sad and regretful so frequently. It\u2019s difficult for a damaged soul to trust in any demonstration of humanity\u2019s mercifulness\u2026 At least, for me it is&#8230;\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-43742e5 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"43742e5\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" width=\"879\" height=\"518\" src=\"https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/IMG_2843.jpg\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-image-50832\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/IMG_2843.jpg 879w, https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/IMG_2843-300x177.jpg 300w, https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/IMG_2843-768x453.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 879px) 100vw, 879px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-eaacadc elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"eaacadc\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tThat being said, although I might be pretty tired, I nonetheless feel fine today. I know something is about to bloom from very deep within me, both emotionally and creatively. I made the right decision to scrap everything I did thus far for my next record. I thought I could \u201chide\u201d behind someone else\u2019s perception to avoid having to face some of my oldest sorrinesses and most profound woes. But I just couldn\u2019t stand that mascarade of a process any longer. True freedom is not a whisper you can pre-fabricate, and I have too many repressed murmurs to keep on isolating myself in the shadows of an outsider set of estranged colors. So now what?!? I honestly don\u2019t know\u2026 if not for the fact that I let my dreams drift way too far behind. But I\u2019ve got something on my mind, and it\u2019s time for me to go find out what\u2019s radiating on the other side of that frightening door of mine\u2026 It all starts now!!!\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-f1315e5 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"f1315e5\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1000\" height=\"690\" src=\"https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/IMG_2844.jpg\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-image-50621\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/IMG_2844.jpg 1000w, https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/IMG_2844-300x207.jpg 300w, https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/IMG_2844-768x530.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-17a380f6 elementor-widget-divider--view-line elementor-widget elementor-widget-divider\" data-id=\"17a380f6\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"divider.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-divider\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-divider-separator\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6da5b90c elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"6da5b90c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"941\" height=\"214\" src=\"https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/ahf_signature-full.png\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-image-42736\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/ahf_signature-full.png 941w, https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/ahf_signature-full-300x68.png 300w, https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/ahf_signature-full-768x175.png 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 941px) 100vw, 941px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-34cdb76c elementor-widget elementor-widget-post-navigation\" data-id=\"34cdb76c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"post-navigation.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-post-navigation\" role=\"navigation\" aria-label=\"Navigation de publication\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-post-navigation__prev elementor-post-navigation__link\">\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/fr\/my-new-mexican-mama-and-global-community\/\" rel=\"prev\"><span class=\"post-navigation__arrow-wrapper post-navigation__arrow-prev\"><i aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"fas fa-angle-double-left\"><\/i><span class=\"elementor-screen-only\">Pr\u00e9c\u00e9dent<\/span><\/span><span class=\"elementor-post-navigation__link__prev\"><span class=\"post-navigation__prev--label\">Previous<\/span><\/span><\/a>\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-post-navigation__next elementor-post-navigation__link\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p> &#8230; <a title=\"[Edition 120] Now What?!? 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