Journal: From A Stranger To Another
Our lunchtime hasn’t been collectivized so far. I find it creatively healthy to take a moment on my own, so I can reflect on completely different elements, may it be about music, literature, social or human issues… then I have something else to commune with the others as we gather all together. It gives the sounds their distinctive meaning afterward, and the same is true for the rest of the band members. That part of the process is something I greatly value, it invites everyone to explore other dimensions of the art spectrum we delve into, which also makes our conversations a lot richer and more inspiring. It sets a unique communal tone way before any kind of musical notes will ever be shared… So when it happens, it has already been through its own musing journey somehow…
Therefore, I was surprised to feel the high level of emotional restraint, a sort of affective inhibition even, being displayed by everybody when we all got back to the studio control room after our brief break. I didn’t know but my journal “A Stream of Creative Life” had been released earlier and everyone happened to read it at lunch. We rarely verbalize about my publications, especially those being more personal like the ones I recently published – we usually share about them via emails or text messages. It’s as much of a self-preservation cope-out mechanism as it is a way to process very intense subjects in a more intimate way. At least for me, it is; writing allows me to open the floodgate of my heart and soul in a manner I just can’t do while talking. Maybe it’s a lack of courage or confidence, maybe it’s a lack of trust in my ability to express myself properly, or simply a much necessary veil I don’t want to tear down yet. Again, I’m not very good at psychological auto-diagnosis… it’s easier with others, right 😉
Therefore, I was surprised to feel the high level of emotional restraint, a sort of affective inhibition even, being displayed by everybody when we all got back to the studio control room after our brief break. I didn’t know but my journal “A Stream of Creative Life” had been released earlier and everyone happened to read it at lunch. We rarely verbalize about my publications, especially those being more personal like the ones I recently published – we usually share about them via emails or text messages. It’s as much of a self-preservation cope-out mechanism as it is a way to process very intense subjects in a more intimate way. At least for me, it is; writing allows me to open the floodgate of my heart and soul in a manner I just can’t do while talking. Maybe it’s a lack of courage or confidence, maybe it’s a lack of trust in my ability to express myself properly, or simply a much necessary veil I don’t want to tear down yet. Again, I’m not very good at psychological auto-diagnosis… it’s easier with others, right 😉
The afternoon was defined by the fragile sentiment of vulnerability that “A Stream of Creative Life” conveyed within us all, which came as a blessing in disguise, or at least as a clear reminder of what I insisted on during our first band meeting shortly after I arrived at the HQ Studio only a few days ago: “The record will be shaped by how willing we are to go beyond our comfort zone.” And for me, being uncomfortable facing those emotional issues while being all together is the perfect representation of that discomforting personal state of heart I need to embrace entirely to push my creative boundaries, no matter if I want to talk about it or not… especially when it comes to MacKaye.
