{"id":935,"date":"2020-08-12T09:51:56","date_gmt":"2020-08-12T13:51:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/journal\/?p=935"},"modified":"2020-08-14T11:48:31","modified_gmt":"2020-08-14T15:48:31","slug":"edition-6-feeling-like-a-snowflake-in-july","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/journal\/edition-6-feeling-like-a-snowflake-in-july\/","title":{"rendered":"Edition #6 <br> Feeling Like a Snowflake in July"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"935\" class=\"elementor elementor-935\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-4cfbda48 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"4cfbda48\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-37398f45\" data-id=\"37398f45\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3c7092a3 elementor-widget elementor-widget-theme-post-featured-image elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"3c7092a3\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"theme-post-featured-image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/journal\/wp-content\/uploads\/ahf-snowflakes-cover-notext-1024x1024.jpg\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-image-944\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/journal\/wp-content\/uploads\/ahf-snowflakes-cover-notext-1024x1024.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/journal\/wp-content\/uploads\/ahf-snowflakes-cover-notext-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/journal\/wp-content\/uploads\/ahf-snowflakes-cover-notext-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/journal\/wp-content\/uploads\/ahf-snowflakes-cover-notext-768x768.jpg 768w, https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/journal\/wp-content\/uploads\/ahf-snowflakes-cover-notext.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7345a645 elementor-widget elementor-widget-spacer\" data-id=\"7345a645\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"spacer.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer-inner\"><\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-49f0c2e9 elementor-widget elementor-widget-theme-post-title elementor-page-title elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"49f0c2e9\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"theme-post-title.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Edition #6 <br> Feeling Like a Snowflake in July<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-13ebb277 elementor-align-center elementor-mobile-align-center elementor-widget elementor-widget-post-info\" data-id=\"13ebb277\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"post-info.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<ul class=\"elementor-inline-items elementor-icon-list-items elementor-post-info\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<li class=\"elementor-icon-list-item elementor-repeater-item-8d55559 elementor-inline-item\" itemprop=\"datePublished\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-icon-list-text elementor-post-info__item elementor-post-info__item--type-date\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<time>12\/08\/2020<\/time>\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<\/ul>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-56250b49 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"56250b49\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"color: #a60000;\">Where does the image of &#8220;Snowflakes in July&#8221; come from? &#8211; Yumi Ohara, Tokyo<\/span><\/p><div><div>The writing sessions for \u201cSnowflakes in July\u201d grew within me on a few distinctive occasions.<\/div><div>\u00a0<\/div><div>First, when I witnessed my father\u2019s passing, some time in the night between the 7th and 8th of July. I still can see the vivid images of my mother crying, the devastation of my father\u2019s best friends, the hospital personnel running around and my friends looking at me\u2026 Time was in suspension, and it probably remained this way for me for several years after.<\/div><div>\u00a0<\/div><div>The images are probably even clearer than the scene itself. However, I don\u2019t remember hearing any sound\u2026 Nothing, just a total absence of noise turning that tragic reality into some dream-like reel unfolding everybody\u2019s reaction right before my eyes\u2026 everyone\u2019s but mine. I completely shut down any emotion. I held my mother for a moment, then I asked to be alone with my father. I lied by his side, looked around his white room, a place suddenly left without any hope of recovery, without any promises to hold onto. It was only a big man, otherwise filled with so much energy, now a man that was no more. The room was cold, empty and sorrowful, if only for the beautiful expression of peace on my father\u2019s face&#8230; I wish I\u2019ll never forget that peaceful expression.<\/div><div>\u00a0<\/div><div>I whispered a few words in his ear, kissed him one last time and left the room for others to live the poignant nature of the moment. I left the hospital some time later. Even if the hospital personnel was trying to have empathy, everything about death is horrible and totally dehumanized in those institutions. No one wants to let go, nor can anybody be ready or willing to\u2026 It was \u201clife\u201d in its most simple expression.<\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-c4c7c9a elementor-blockquote--skin-quotation elementor-widget elementor-widget-blockquote\" data-id=\"c4c7c9a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"blockquote.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<blockquote class=\"elementor-blockquote\">\n\t\t\t<p class=\"elementor-blockquote__content\">\n\t\t\t\tThat was quite an appropriate scene; as if with my father\u2019s passing, it was time for me to bloom somehow\u2026\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/blockquote>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-30cab82b elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"30cab82b\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>It was windy and a bit cold for July, at least as I remember. As I got outside, I looked at dandelions&#8217; parachutes and thought about memories\u2026 Are we truly leaving anything behind? And if so, how could it make sense in that whole cycle of our existence? Are we the devastation legacy of the ones called survivors? What is there to comprehend? The wind kept on blowing those pieces of life destined to bloom somewhere else in their due time\u2026 That was quite an appropriate scene; as if with my father\u2019s passing, it was time for me to bloom somehow\u2026<\/p><p>I had that same impression when only 4 days later, I found myself on a stage in Taiwan singing in front of an ocean of people with my former band Your Favorite Enemies. My mother insisted for me to do the concert, but I shouldn\u2019t have&#8230; I was feeling totally empty inside, emotionless. I don\u2019t recall much of that moment, regardless of the fact that 90,000 people were enthusiastically jumping and shouting right in front of me. With the stage lights upon them, all those faces looked like snowflakes to me, brightly appearing in succession of flashes before disappearing almost instantly. It was a very strange sensation\u2026 Even if they were screaming at the top of their lungs, I don\u2019t remember hearing the crowd neither\u2026 it was a total void.<\/p><p>Another occasion came about 2 weeks later when I would experience the very same phenomenon during my father\u2019s funerals; again, vivid images of people crying, going in front of my father\u2019s picture one after another, while others were talking in the distance, old acquaintances, close family members and friends, all stopping before me to pay their respect, to tell me stories I had never heard before, to share poignant moments they had with him that were totally new for me\u2026 childhood memories, people he helped, how he turned his life around after struggling with alcoholism, Christians he went to church with, bikers he supported through addictions, and on, and on, and on\u2026 Hours of bright images pieced together in what felt like some uneven edit of scenes displayed in stop-motion flashes, all without any sound. It was quite a vibrant homage to a man I realized I had never really known.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b7e33cd elementor-blockquote--skin-quotation elementor-widget elementor-widget-blockquote\" data-id=\"b7e33cd\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"blockquote.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<blockquote class=\"elementor-blockquote\">\n\t\t\t<p class=\"elementor-blockquote__content\">\n\t\t\t\tAmongst those words was written \u201cAnd I\u2019m standing here, somewhere across the sky, contemplating the universe shining in broad daylight, feeling inexistent, like a snowflake in July\u2026 \u201d\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/blockquote>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-75c133f7 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"75c133f7\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>The last occasion occurred a while after, as I was sitting on the plane that would fly me to Tangier for what I believed were a few weeks to write the next Your Favorite Enemies album, which ultimately became 2 years of a much needed sorrowful journey towards embracing life again. So I was seated, people were passing me by, kids screaming, flight attendants giving instructions, the TV screens broadcasting measures of security, agents asking questions\u2026 Hundreds of different lives intertwined for about 8 hours in too small an environment to contain everybody\u2019s stories. But still, regardless of all that organized chaos that is a plane boarding time, I couldn\u2019t hear anything&#8230; no sound. I was feeling absolutely nothing, if only emptiness inside.<\/p><p>And, it\u2019s seated in that plane, that I started writing words in some sort of a scrap book diary I had brought with me for the trip. Amongst those words was written \u201cAnd I\u2019m standing here, somewhere across the sky, contemplating the universe shining in broad daylight, feeling inexistent, like a snowflake in July\u2026 \u201d<\/p><p>Like most of the album, \u201cSnowflakes in July\u201d wrote itself through flashes, glimpses and shimmers of light that consequently kept me from totally losing myself to what felt like an inconsolable bleakness at the time\u2026<\/p><p>Much love always,<\/p><p>AHF<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-7b962ad8 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"7b962ad8\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-67d8646\" data-id=\"67d8646\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-1dcfd579 elementor-widget elementor-widget-spacer\" data-id=\"1dcfd579\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"spacer.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer-inner\"><\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-45506aa0 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"45506aa0\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-3b1446b0\" data-id=\"3b1446b0\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-c1c1071 elementor-align-center elementor-widget elementor-widget-global elementor-global-153 elementor-widget-button\" data-id=\"c1c1071\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"button.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-button-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-button elementor-button-link elementor-size-xl\" href=\"https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/journal\/ask-a-question\/\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-content-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-text\">Ask a Question<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Where does the image of &#8220;Snowflakes in July&#8221; come from? &#8211; Yumi Ohara, Tokyo The writing sessions for \u201cSnowflakes in &#8230; <\/p>\n<p class=\"read-more-container\"><a title=\"Edition #6  Feeling Like a Snowflake in July\" class=\"read-more button\" href=\"https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/journal\/edition-6-feeling-like-a-snowflake-in-july\/#more-935\">Read more<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Edition #6 <br \/> Feeling Like a Snowflake in July<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":944,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-935","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-from-a-stranger-to-another","generate-columns","tablet-grid-50","mobile-grid-100","grid-parent","grid-50","no-featured-image-padding"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/935","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=935"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/935\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/944"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=935"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=935"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alexhenryfoster.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=935"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}