When Love Comes To Town
I had the blessing of welcoming a part of my management team family; Bill, Jennie, Michael, and Jackson, to Montreal for a few days. It was amazing timing since I was releasing the song “A Silent Stream”, which is the first single on my new project “Kimiyo”, but also because I decided to pause my next album production with Mikko in order to start the record all over. To have them for four days with us was a well-needed reconnection, as the last 2 months have been quite an emotional rollercoaster for me. Therefore, stopping almost everything for a moment allowed me to have some clarity, especially as I’m slowly transitioning from what has been a hasty type of contrived studio aesthetic, to dwell into the spiritually-charged and emancipatory-driven live rehearsals that will define my upcoming summer tour. Therefore, clarity is not only necessary, it’s essential.
I’ve been missing the creative live mode I have been in over the last couple of weeks. I realized that even if you try to adjust, to fit in, or to find a reason to keep on pretending you’re a new you and that what you’re doing is exciting and positive – even if your instinctive voice repeatedly and insistingly told you that everything you are crafting has nothing to do with you… and that in retrospect, it turns out that voice was right, it wasn’t you, old or new, at all – music has to be affranchised of any type of rationalization, and of every arbitrary attempt to control its free flow. At least mine has to be. It’s the reason why I long to go back on the road so badly, knowing a major change of scenery would be a significant reset for me to have a better sense of who I am again. And that’s exactly what my new extended family provided; perspective, empowerment, guidance, and reassertion. Their visit came as a true wind of fresh air.
I’ve been missing the creative live mode I have been in over the last couple of weeks. I realized that even if you try to adjust, to fit in, or to find a reason to keep on pretending you’re a new you and that what you’re doing is exciting and positive – even if your instinctive voice repeatedly and insistingly told you that everything you are crafting has nothing to do with you… and that in retrospect, it turns out that voice was right, it wasn’t you, old or new, at all – music has to be affranchised of any type of rationalization, and of every arbitrary attempt to control its free flow. At least mine has to be. It’s the reason why I long to go back on the road so badly, knowing a major change of scenery would be a significant reset for me to have a better sense of who I am again. And that’s exactly what my new extended family provided; perspective, empowerment, guidance, and reassertion. Their visit came as a true wind of fresh air.
That being said, besides the pivotal decisions my actual set of personal and professional circumstances was about to be reshaped by, it was also a wonderful opportunity for them to seize the whole spectrum of our installations and infrastructures, which requires to feel its vibe. And to do so, no matter how many pictures and videos you may send, it’s impossible to feel that phenomenal vibe without meeting every single one of my precious accomplices, as they are the true beating heart of our unique setup. It has to do with who you are more than what you do and how impressive of an empire you might have built over the years. I believe that if it’s a lone affair, it will always be the most saddened and soulless space there is. I don’t see the fulfilling nature of having a self-serving kingdom if it’s designed as an echo chamber… it’s a voice condemned to fade away through its inevitable obsolescence. So again, what’s the point in any of that? I’d rather be proud of being a part of something immensely better than myself, than being the sole king of lifeless structures. And it’s the very same values that lie beneath my full engagement with my management. It’s all or nothing at all.
In fact, the more time I spend with my new extended family members, the more I realize the profound joy I’ve been experiencing since I found my people, and just how much of a benediction it is for me to freely dwell in the endless layers of that extraordinary genuine and organic relationship. If countless relational intangibles are still astonishing for me, the element I couldn’t foresee when I was welcomed as an “In De Goot” member, is the extensive way I would be learning about myself through their caring affection and how my heart and soul would keep on expanding through their benevolent support and faith in me. The results, at least those that I can perceive, are blooming from rediscovering the artist that I am, and it’s their indefectible belief in me and my art that makes it all possible, purposeful, and inspiring.
Finding management wasn’t only a necessity for me following my heart surgery, but I wanted true partners, real collaborators, and a like-minded ensemble of individuals who would grow with me. Being part of the music business for as long as I’ve been now, I was lucid. I knew that expecting to find a group of kindred spirits to evolve with was quite a delusional pipe dream if not pure foolishness. It’s a business. And even if I’m an artist-entrepreneur, human and community values are not only part of my entrepreneurial core, it’s who I am. It’s the cornerstone of everything I’m building, crafting, and embodying. So it would have been a major self-letdown, have I had to settle for a business-oriented kind of agreement. Consequently, finding a management company that is not only founded on family values but who’s operating as a community, collaborative teamwork and moving unit was an absolute grace to me. I couldn’t believe it… same for Jeff. It’s a blessing I wasn’t even hoping for, to be honest. And yet, here we are. I’m blessed like I’ve never been before. I’m happy, at peace, and backed up, which makes me even more determined to press on and on and on to develop myself and to make my art a greater “it”.
There’s no “cosmetic” type of business agreement that can produce a real effusion of life. It’s like being in the studio; you can make everything sound perfect, aligned, beautiful, and polished, just like every other inconsequential piece of plastic ready to be sold to the masses, like a white styrofoam cup. It was everywhere, cheap and convenient, until we realized that it was one of the world’s poisons the planet would be infested with for eternity, like plastic bags and six-pack rings killing everything inside any type of body of water. While “magic” resides in trusting your instinct and diving into the invisible abyss of abandonment to incarnate whatever you might find, the difference between the two could be simply put as priceless Chinese Ming vases versus the endless pieces of crap the world is buying over and over in dollar stores. A vase is a vase, right? No, it ain’t. A replica is a replica, no matter how good the counterfeit is. For me, it’s authenticity versus formula, family versus shareholders. Death can only generate more death, while life will always have the ability to create life. It’s in its nature and that’s what I’m looking for.
In fact, the more time I spend with my new extended family members, the more I realize the profound joy I’ve been experiencing since I found my people, and just how much of a benediction it is for me to freely dwell in the endless layers of that extraordinary genuine and organic relationship. If countless relational intangibles are still astonishing for me, the element I couldn’t foresee when I was welcomed as an “In De Goot” member, is the extensive way I would be learning about myself through their caring affection and how my heart and soul would keep on expanding through their benevolent support and faith in me. The results, at least those that I can perceive, are blooming from rediscovering the artist that I am, and it’s their indefectible belief in me and my art that makes it all possible, purposeful, and inspiring.
Finding management wasn’t only a necessity for me following my heart surgery, but I wanted true partners, real collaborators, and a like-minded ensemble of individuals who would grow with me. Being part of the music business for as long as I’ve been now, I was lucid. I knew that expecting to find a group of kindred spirits to evolve with was quite a delusional pipe dream if not pure foolishness. It’s a business. And even if I’m an artist-entrepreneur, human and community values are not only part of my entrepreneurial core, it’s who I am. It’s the cornerstone of everything I’m building, crafting, and embodying. So it would have been a major self-letdown, have I had to settle for a business-oriented kind of agreement. Consequently, finding a management company that is not only founded on family values but who’s operating as a community, collaborative teamwork and moving unit was an absolute grace to me. I couldn’t believe it… same for Jeff. It’s a blessing I wasn’t even hoping for, to be honest. And yet, here we are. I’m blessed like I’ve never been before. I’m happy, at peace, and backed up, which makes me even more determined to press on and on and on to develop myself and to make my art a greater “it”.
There’s no “cosmetic” type of business agreement that can produce a real effusion of life. It’s like being in the studio; you can make everything sound perfect, aligned, beautiful, and polished, just like every other inconsequential piece of plastic ready to be sold to the masses, like a white styrofoam cup. It was everywhere, cheap and convenient, until we realized that it was one of the world’s poisons the planet would be infested with for eternity, like plastic bags and six-pack rings killing everything inside any type of body of water. While “magic” resides in trusting your instinct and diving into the invisible abyss of abandonment to incarnate whatever you might find, the difference between the two could be simply put as priceless Chinese Ming vases versus the endless pieces of crap the world is buying over and over in dollar stores. A vase is a vase, right? No, it ain’t. A replica is a replica, no matter how good the counterfeit is. For me, it’s authenticity versus formula, family versus shareholders. Death can only generate more death, while life will always have the ability to create life. It’s in its nature and that’s what I’m looking for.
So after a year almost to the day of working together, I was utterly honored to officially sign my management contract with Bill, surrounded by the band, team members, and a few In De Goot representatives, on the Upper Room church studio’s stage at the band’s HQ. All of this on Good Friday, which for me is a perfect representation of what was truly happening; the end of an era and the rebirth of a free everlasting entity. It was personally more meaningful than anything else I’ve experienced before. I don’t know if it’s the same blissful sensation for other artists, but for me, or should I say for us as a whole, it wasn’t only symbolic nor was it a consecration, it was so much more profound than any of those. It’s difficult for me to explain in better words than “it” and it’s exalting. It propels me deeper. After trying to get anywhere “fast”, deeper is “it”. Again, at least for me it is, and it’s all I’m looking for.
I was sad to leave them at the airport yesterday. The four days we spent together went by so fast. It was rich in laughter, in contemplations, in a common vision, and tenderness. I miss them already. When it’s right, it’s right and that moment with them has been beyond right, it was perfect by design and heartfelt in every aspect.
I’ll conclude with the magnificent gift they left me with…
“Remember Alex, we love you for who you are, not for what you can possibly be nor for what you have to become… Trust your instinct.”
I’ll conclude with the magnificent gift they left me with…
“Remember Alex, we love you for who you are, not for what you can possibly be nor for what you have to become… Trust your instinct.”
