We kept on listening to songs all afternoon. Ben and I were crying calmly; some lyrics are not that remote from who we are today, from what we are struggling with. Heart’s sufferings have multiple forms and shapes; it’s the people we miss, the regrets we feed, the days and years we have wasted. It’s also the gratitude of being where we are now, to look at our former selves with empathy, to feel the unhealed wounds we have learned to live with, and those we are still hiding or denying. The spiritual aspect of that process is a delicate one; it’s not about what songs are good or not, it’s a mirror where we can’t avoid that version of self-staring… Who’s who? Who’s the product of our reflection and who’s the real me — if there’s such a thing? Concepts are cool to explore and debate on, but self-honesty is not as cool to face, much less so to accept, to embrace. In my case, it’s the second section of the song “Up Til Dawn” that hits me for its intimate admission and lucidity. The mirror, as much as you can break it in pieces through disguises and make-believe, always reflects a truth that is magnified by every single one of those broken pieces, making it greatly more challenging to deny what I am too scared to avoid looking at. That’s what the listening process is about for me right now, as liberating as frightening it is to acknowledge…

I went to bed a little messed up emotionally, which in my case is a very positive state to be in, as I know that every one of those damaged pieces has a story of their own to tell when I get my fear of being seen out of their way…