“Kimiyo”… A Step Forward into the Lights
The last week has been incredibly busy. While I’m emotionally joyful, I’m physically exhausted. I tend to forget that I’m still in recovery and that I still have a long way to go before being fully healed. I’m not known for being someone who paces himself; it’s quite the opposite, actually. So I’m glad to be back at my writing space after a way too short stop-and-go in Frankfurt to ship the initial wave of the Kimiyo packages you ordered and doing quite a few interviews since I got off the airplane. I had clearly forgotten the beautiful exhilaration that comes with the release of one of my projects or albums. It’s always humbling for me to witness that sort of enthusiastic uplift regarding my creative universe. It’s especially touching as every single one of my endeavors is designed to empower and be communed. Therefore, it’s always a blessing to share a little more insight into the spirit that inspires and defines whatever sonic maelstrom I abandon myself into.
That being said, it’s quite fascinating to realize just how fast everything suddenly went, as yesterday only, I was under the impression that time was being surprisingly generous towards me and that it had reduced its implacable hasty cadence for me to appreciate the emerging colors a reborn spring had to offer my welcoming heart. But no… There wasn’t any generosity nor any kind of gift, a day after the much-anticipated release of “Kimiyo”. It’s a little surreal for me to see all the pictures you shared, as the period between the project’s final mix in December and its actual release feels so blurry somehow. So many things took place in what now looks like such a contracted movement in time… Losing my beloved MacKaye, finding out about my uncle’s passing, perpetual health concerns, beginning a new record before deciding to scrap it all, underlying pieces of a reality shadowing like distant visions flickering in the background of another dream that unfolds its most colorful shine. “Kimiyo”… A new beginning, an ethereal beauty within, just like its name implies.
That being said, it’s quite fascinating to realize just how fast everything suddenly went, as yesterday only, I was under the impression that time was being surprisingly generous towards me and that it had reduced its implacable hasty cadence for me to appreciate the emerging colors a reborn spring had to offer my welcoming heart. But no… There wasn’t any generosity nor any kind of gift, a day after the much-anticipated release of “Kimiyo”. It’s a little surreal for me to see all the pictures you shared, as the period between the project’s final mix in December and its actual release feels so blurry somehow. So many things took place in what now looks like such a contracted movement in time… Losing my beloved MacKaye, finding out about my uncle’s passing, perpetual health concerns, beginning a new record before deciding to scrap it all, underlying pieces of a reality shadowing like distant visions flickering in the background of another dream that unfolds its most colorful shine. “Kimiyo”… A new beginning, an ethereal beauty within, just like its name implies.
It’s kind of strange but I’m never particularly concerned or stressed regarding the release of one of my artistic projects. Of course, I hope it will resonate within your heart and soul, but knowing that I had abandoned myself through its conception and gestation offers me a fulfilling peace. It’s never a collection of songs, it’s an inner pilgrimage beyond the frontiers of my own self-imposed limitations. And it couldn’t be more accurate with “Kimiyo”, as the project took form on the far side of my restricted resources before growing on its own. Regardless of the personal darkness in which it all initially took form, its nature has been resolutely luminous, from the second I started to foresee its radiant outline out of the invisible realm I wandered in, looking for something meaningful enough — sacred even — to kneel my desperation at its benevolent “feet”.
I knew from that instant that “Kimiyo” was already “it”, no matter how significant the measure of my preconceptions might have potentially interfered with its inception. That’s why, though immensely grateful for the media support and respective public awareness, I never read reviews nor do I revisit interviews I gave. Refraining my ego from feeding itself with other people’s opinions allows me to remain entirely independent regarding my art and its resolutely free essence. Glorification is the most elusive and addictive sensation there is… It is a drug that subdues the audacity, defiance, and honesty of one’s urges to create, share, commune, and evolve. I’ve always been disgusted by its seductive attraction and fearful of how devastatingly broken I might become should I consume its poisonous illusions.
Consequently, it’s about you… Us. It’s about how we intimately feel once we dwell on the voyage’s emotional motion we let go into. It’s about how the surrounding spirit shines through its streaming waves, how we redefine ourselves within this evolving journey. The rest is the illusionary artifices composing the fabric of a business I’ve never been a part of in the first place, as what truly remains after everything has been said or forgotten in an album or another is who we became through its midst. Therefore, the real value of such a creation is encapsulated in the tiny fragments of transformation we can perceive in our lives after all the noise — or the absence thereof — has been sieved… That’s how I see it.
So no, time didn’t stretch itself for me. I imagine that I’m probably starting to learn how to live the moment for what it is, or that I have a better understanding of just how fragile and temporary our existence is. Still, whatever the high pace I’m right now maneuvering in, I’m deeply thankful that a newborn rhythm is taking place within me. I’m nonetheless stressed and anxious with it all – especially with the upcoming tour – but it’s an obvious departure from how I used to deal with the numerous components of those complex psyche stressors… Now, I can embrace the ongoing movement as a positive energy and to rejoice my soul in it. And when I do that, I can face my bleakest fears with an entirely distinct angle. It changes my propensity to cultivate negativity before I can even foresee what’s truly going on. And when I let my mind overwrite reality with that distressing kind of perspective, everything gets distorted afterward… Even a pure blessing can easily be portrayed as a deceiving one. It’s challenging to rewire my affective self after years of the same pre-fabricated misery. It’s a daily affair, but it’s incredibly liberating when you do so. “Kimiyo” guided me a little further toward that freedom of the heart and mind. I hope it will do the same for you too, my dear and precious friends.
I knew from that instant that “Kimiyo” was already “it”, no matter how significant the measure of my preconceptions might have potentially interfered with its inception. That’s why, though immensely grateful for the media support and respective public awareness, I never read reviews nor do I revisit interviews I gave. Refraining my ego from feeding itself with other people’s opinions allows me to remain entirely independent regarding my art and its resolutely free essence. Glorification is the most elusive and addictive sensation there is… It is a drug that subdues the audacity, defiance, and honesty of one’s urges to create, share, commune, and evolve. I’ve always been disgusted by its seductive attraction and fearful of how devastatingly broken I might become should I consume its poisonous illusions.
Consequently, it’s about you… Us. It’s about how we intimately feel once we dwell on the voyage’s emotional motion we let go into. It’s about how the surrounding spirit shines through its streaming waves, how we redefine ourselves within this evolving journey. The rest is the illusionary artifices composing the fabric of a business I’ve never been a part of in the first place, as what truly remains after everything has been said or forgotten in an album or another is who we became through its midst. Therefore, the real value of such a creation is encapsulated in the tiny fragments of transformation we can perceive in our lives after all the noise — or the absence thereof — has been sieved… That’s how I see it.
So no, time didn’t stretch itself for me. I imagine that I’m probably starting to learn how to live the moment for what it is, or that I have a better understanding of just how fragile and temporary our existence is. Still, whatever the high pace I’m right now maneuvering in, I’m deeply thankful that a newborn rhythm is taking place within me. I’m nonetheless stressed and anxious with it all – especially with the upcoming tour – but it’s an obvious departure from how I used to deal with the numerous components of those complex psyche stressors… Now, I can embrace the ongoing movement as a positive energy and to rejoice my soul in it. And when I do that, I can face my bleakest fears with an entirely distinct angle. It changes my propensity to cultivate negativity before I can even foresee what’s truly going on. And when I let my mind overwrite reality with that distressing kind of perspective, everything gets distorted afterward… Even a pure blessing can easily be portrayed as a deceiving one. It’s challenging to rewire my affective self after years of the same pre-fabricated misery. It’s a daily affair, but it’s incredibly liberating when you do so. “Kimiyo” guided me a little further toward that freedom of the heart and mind. I hope it will do the same for you too, my dear and precious friends.
