I woke up early. I have so many things to do and so little energy to do it all. The studio has always been highly demanding for me, as I have to be fully invested, completely committed… But I came to realize that I would have to pace myself somehow because I will crash and burn before the producer has even arrived. It’s quite challenging for me to be that impaired… Is that the new me? Is it a temporary situation? If so, when will I come back to being myself? It’s quite distressing for me psychologically. I’m a person who has always had an endless measure of physical drive and cerebral verve… Now, I am not so sure of who I am anymore. My passion is still raging, therefore I feel like being impaired. I have 2 full days of hospital tests coming up next week. It’s stressful as well, to be honest… 

knowing that being in such a constant state of uncertainty and bewilderment would take the best out of my creativity, I came up with the idea to write a daily studio post, to help me to keep my focus on the spirit of what I want to discover and abandon myself to, but also to express my emotions without a PR campaign filter while feeding the ongoing motion of that very significant period of my life without losing track of where I am, to counter any potential confusion about who I am that may occur. Hesitation kills the instinct, so by acknowledging my situation, I don’t have to fear any outcome and can act accordingly. That’s the silver lining aspect in all of this; a greater understanding of my actual limitations offers me the clarity needed, and therefore the possibility to defy every one of them if I’m willing to press on. I don’t know how just yet, but I’m full on.