You Gotta Fight For Your Right To… “As Morning Sets In”
I was working on words and melodies for a song called “Chasing A Ghost” in my lab of consequential nonsense when Ben showed up at the door, checking in to see how I was doing, and if I needed any technical help. He laughed when he saw me with pieces of paper all over the place… my poetry benders opened and lyrics scattered everywhere, along with notebooks.
Ben: “How’s it going?”
Me: “Ok, I’m trying to work around the words dementia and neurosis.”
Ben: “For what?”
Me: “Chasing A Ghost”…
Ben: “Wait, you want to add dementia and neurosis to one of the songs?”
Me: “Yes, I’m exploring the theme of mental blur and early stages of cognitive disorientation.”
Ben: “Wow, that’s amazing, I don’t think I’ve ever heard a song with the word “neurosis” in it.”
Me: “I’ve been reading about dementia’s early signs. It’s quite fascinating to see how your brain can fail you so fast.”
Ben: “Are you worried about your own condition?”
Me: “Yes and no. I’ve always been interested in the subject of the brain in the field of human behavioral studies. It dates back to college. That’s why I picked psychology and social work as my university major and art as my minor. So I guess I was preparing myself for that creative moment where one of my songs would be the subject of such an intimate matter.”
Ben: “Costly lyrics”
Me: “True, which is the case for every word of every song. They’re all costly, one way or the other. At least, I had university credits for that one.”
Ben: “One thing is for sure, I really really like your rhyming approach. The melody is audacious and heartfelt, very hook.
Me: “Thanks, I’m not totally comfortable with that vocal rhythmic yet. I just want to give my spoken word approach a more direct and purposeful let go into it… And you, how is it going with Mikko in the studio?”
Ben (silence, followed by hesitation): “It’s been rocky, to be honest. We argued big time and I left before it became too much…”
Me: “What? Why?”
Ben: “Yes, it’s the song “As Morning Sets In”, again. I just didn’t feel it. I wanted to try something else. So we gathered Jeff, Sef, Miss Isabel, and I in the control room to rewrite things out musically around your vocal melody. I think we truly touched it this time, but Mikko is not sure. The song is one of his favorites, so you’ll have to settle that out.”
Me: “Ok… I’ll go listen to it when I’m done here.”
Ben: “How’s it going?”
Me: “Ok, I’m trying to work around the words dementia and neurosis.”
Ben: “For what?”
Me: “Chasing A Ghost”…
Ben: “Wait, you want to add dementia and neurosis to one of the songs?”
Me: “Yes, I’m exploring the theme of mental blur and early stages of cognitive disorientation.”
Ben: “Wow, that’s amazing, I don’t think I’ve ever heard a song with the word “neurosis” in it.”
Me: “I’ve been reading about dementia’s early signs. It’s quite fascinating to see how your brain can fail you so fast.”
Ben: “Are you worried about your own condition?”
Me: “Yes and no. I’ve always been interested in the subject of the brain in the field of human behavioral studies. It dates back to college. That’s why I picked psychology and social work as my university major and art as my minor. So I guess I was preparing myself for that creative moment where one of my songs would be the subject of such an intimate matter.”
Ben: “Costly lyrics”
Me: “True, which is the case for every word of every song. They’re all costly, one way or the other. At least, I had university credits for that one.”
Ben: “One thing is for sure, I really really like your rhyming approach. The melody is audacious and heartfelt, very hook.
Me: “Thanks, I’m not totally comfortable with that vocal rhythmic yet. I just want to give my spoken word approach a more direct and purposeful let go into it… And you, how is it going with Mikko in the studio?”
Ben (silence, followed by hesitation): “It’s been rocky, to be honest. We argued big time and I left before it became too much…”
Me: “What? Why?”
Ben: “Yes, it’s the song “As Morning Sets In”, again. I just didn’t feel it. I wanted to try something else. So we gathered Jeff, Sef, Miss Isabel, and I in the control room to rewrite things out musically around your vocal melody. I think we truly touched it this time, but Mikko is not sure. The song is one of his favorites, so you’ll have to settle that out.”
Me: “Ok… I’ll go listen to it when I’m done here.”
Ben with Mikko in the studio
And Mikko appears at the door. I invited him to join us, so the guys could explain what was going on so nobody had to wait to address the situation or act cool when it’s not that cool at all. I despise situations left unsaid where people are implying things without saying their piece directly. That’s when relationships are weakened and when suspicion slowly starts to take place in the fold, and when you are stretched like we are, both physically and spiritually worn out, that would be too easy of a trap to fall into, as you can easily start assuming stuff that isn’t real or even suspect the others of leaguing themselves against you. It ultimately means that the adventure will either conclude itself with a very catastrophic ending or the project will become so perverted by those selfish tensions, that it would be entirely stained by whatever relational irresolutions there was. In other words, there’s no possible happy aftermath. Yes, we’ve been there too many times during our tenure as “Your Favorite Enemies” to downplay that type of situation, or to go with the flow, as there will be no flow anymore when you let it slide.
Ben and Alex crafting art
Mikko trying to make sense of our nonsense in the studio
That’s why I was so proud of Ben, not only to hear him expressing his opinion without toning anything down, which has always been a challenge for him, but also to remain open to hearing Mikko’s point of view, regardless of his position, especially as it’s quite a challenge to collaborate on one of my projects. You never know when you’ll hear me say: “Yes, that’s very good, so let’s change everything to see what we may have missed.” It’s even more of a challenge for everyone considering that I still don’t have all the necessary energy to be ahead of every element, all the time, every day. That is the “chair” Mikko is seated on. It’s the hardest place to fill amongst us because, regardless of the actual variation of my health and psychological state, Ben and I are taking quite a considerable measure of space in everything. Therefore, if we have a pretty clear understanding of what we are, as much as what we want to explore, being truly malleable allows Mikko to add his own unique and singular ingredients to the whole recipe. Otherwise, there would be no way for us to expand our minds and experiences.
While talking, I never saw Mikko being like that. He was calm but beautifully emotional about the fact that the record meant a lot to him, that he was emotionally involved in every part of the journey… that he knew the personal “cost” every participant had to pay to be there in the first place… that he understood just how painful it was for me to live the album themes in real-time… that it wasn’t about crafting songs for him, that it was pieces of everybody’s lives defining the voyage. But he was equally concerned because amazing records were often ruined by second-guessing everything that has been done for the sake of having to do it. He considered that what we had recorded so far was incredible already, even if the songs were far from being done, that they would all be fleshed in. That’s why he was worried that when reopening the production session of “As Morning Sets In”, we might potentially lose the momentum we now had when circling back to every song being presently worked on. He also wanted to have as much time with me as possible when he would come back for the next stretch. We had to be immensely careful in that sense. “The record is Alex. We need to give him every opportunity to express himself as he feels and sees it.”, he concluded.
His concerns and apprehensions were not only legitimate, but it was inspiringly poignant for Ben and me to hear. Besides my new management family, we haven’t been supported by many over the years, at least not with so much emotional involvement. So after concluding our conversation, I suggested going back to the studio control room to listen to both versions, because, in all honesty, I didn’t remember anything about that song. Well, if only a little. Ben and Mikko started laughing because they were both “arguing” about something I didn’t know the object of at all. I looked at them and said: “Brain blur, sorry”, to which Ben replied: “I hope your two brains will be able to pick the same version out of the two song versions.” Mikko was laughing, especially when I added: “It’s not because I won’t remember our actual conversation that you can laugh at my condition brother.” 🙂 “No worries, the Old Fragmented Version of Me will remember.” Ben concluded before we all headed to the studio: “I bet he will.” 🙂
While talking, I never saw Mikko being like that. He was calm but beautifully emotional about the fact that the record meant a lot to him, that he was emotionally involved in every part of the journey… that he knew the personal “cost” every participant had to pay to be there in the first place… that he understood just how painful it was for me to live the album themes in real-time… that it wasn’t about crafting songs for him, that it was pieces of everybody’s lives defining the voyage. But he was equally concerned because amazing records were often ruined by second-guessing everything that has been done for the sake of having to do it. He considered that what we had recorded so far was incredible already, even if the songs were far from being done, that they would all be fleshed in. That’s why he was worried that when reopening the production session of “As Morning Sets In”, we might potentially lose the momentum we now had when circling back to every song being presently worked on. He also wanted to have as much time with me as possible when he would come back for the next stretch. We had to be immensely careful in that sense. “The record is Alex. We need to give him every opportunity to express himself as he feels and sees it.”, he concluded.
His concerns and apprehensions were not only legitimate, but it was inspiringly poignant for Ben and me to hear. Besides my new management family, we haven’t been supported by many over the years, at least not with so much emotional involvement. So after concluding our conversation, I suggested going back to the studio control room to listen to both versions, because, in all honesty, I didn’t remember anything about that song. Well, if only a little. Ben and Mikko started laughing because they were both “arguing” about something I didn’t know the object of at all. I looked at them and said: “Brain blur, sorry”, to which Ben replied: “I hope your two brains will be able to pick the same version out of the two song versions.” Mikko was laughing, especially when I added: “It’s not because I won’t remember our actual conversation that you can laugh at my condition brother.” 🙂 “No worries, the Old Fragmented Version of Me will remember.” Ben concluded before we all headed to the studio: “I bet he will.” 🙂
Alex and Ben after working in the studio
Mikko after working in the studio
“We’re all different and we’re all imperfect, and the imperfections are what makes each of us and our work interesting.”
– Rick Rubin
Additional Note:
If there even was any tension between Ben and Mikko that took place a little earlier, it was completely far gone when we sat down in the studio to listen to “As Morning Sets In”. It was great for me to rediscover the song. I was particularly moved by the vocal melody I did, a moment that encapsulated everything that led me to do the very first leap of faith into the invisible I had done. I could feel the emotional abandonment in my voice. So to hear what Ben, Jeff, Miss Isabel, and Sef did to support that was incredibly heartfelt for me, and so was the song’s second section we had previously crafted with Mikko. Therefore, my perspective was pretty clear.
Me: “Guys, I’m wondering, can we use the new song’s first section the guys just did and blend it with the second section we previously defined with Mikko? That would be the perfect way to channel those very intimate emotions…”
Ben and Mikko started to laugh, called the rest of the band, and set an action plan to execute it right away…
If there even was any tension between Ben and Mikko that took place a little earlier, it was completely far gone when we sat down in the studio to listen to “As Morning Sets In”. It was great for me to rediscover the song. I was particularly moved by the vocal melody I did, a moment that encapsulated everything that led me to do the very first leap of faith into the invisible I had done. I could feel the emotional abandonment in my voice. So to hear what Ben, Jeff, Miss Isabel, and Sef did to support that was incredibly heartfelt for me, and so was the song’s second section we had previously crafted with Mikko. Therefore, my perspective was pretty clear.
Me: “Guys, I’m wondering, can we use the new song’s first section the guys just did and blend it with the second section we previously defined with Mikko? That would be the perfect way to channel those very intimate emotions…”
Ben and Mikko started to laugh, called the rest of the band, and set an action plan to execute it right away…
Ben, Alex & Mikko crafting art together now
