Edition #32
As Music Slowly Comes Back… (Part 3)
I’m presently at home, sitting in my writing space up in the trees, as I like to call it, thinking I’ll be on a plane bringing me to Tangier as you’ll read those words. I used to find those time dichotomies poetically cathartic in the past… It is still the case, by their nature, but if there’s a thing that I’ve learned these last few months, and it’s to keep on foreseeing the future, while adding all sorts of windows from which something good or bad, blissful, or dreadful, could happen in between a human-made plan and a sudden intervention by life. In other words, I’m positively unsure about every day’s outcome, so being a few days ahead of a longing moment looks like cheering for happy outcomes that are ages from being unfolded. That perspective is horrible but it is also inspiring to me. Horrible because I like to project myself in the future and I’m used to envisioning projects being incarnated before their time… As for being inspired, I guess it comes with the opportunity I have to appreciate the moment I’m in, which has always been a real challenge for me. I have always been known as the guy who only half-celebrated a victory when I was doing elite sports. “Great! We did it! But tomorrow is even more important, so we need to focus on that game right now.” Even now, when Jeff and I achieve something significant, it will go along those lines: “I’m very happy about the hotel we just acquired, but in 3 years from now we should go to this part of town to contribute to the local art scene more actively.” Or when recently, after working on a very complicated vinyl plant venture for 2 years, I told Jeff after we received the industrial machines in the location it took us months to set up “Have we asked the neighbors if they wanted to renew their lease already? We might need more space in the next 24 months.” It’s not even ambition, it’s madness! But I can’t help it. “Wow! Alex, look at what we’ve done!” “Yes, it’s awesome, it will be an amazing stepping stone for the next idea I have in mind. Here’s the whole schematic. I know, it’s crazy. There’s probably a medical term for that pathology of mine. That’s actually the reason why we started doing toasts, Jeff and I; to mark the instant, to seize the importance of now. I mean, we even have matching tattoos that say “NOW” on our wrists. So I’m not completely hopeless, I imagine… No need to say that with my current unsteady health condition along with MacKaye’s cancer battle, the numerous other ongoing projects are forcing me to rewire my “Come on! Let’s go, let’s go!” brain to something that is a bit more in the likes of “Come on! Let’s go! If I can, I’ll join you guys! GO GO GO!!!” I’m not someone you bring along for a week-long meditational trip if you don’t want me to figure out a lifelong list of ideas to conceive the second I am back to reality…! I know that most of my close friends and project accomplices will laugh reading that — or will have traumatic flashbacks!
Therefore, you can understand a little more why being grounded on my own for almost a year now is like the ultimate fright for everyone working with me… Here’s a little snippet of how my album/motion picture project idea took form…
Alex: “Hey Ben, what about a simple project for me to get my focus back in place?”
Ben: “Great idea, it will be good for you! It’s easy to get into depression after a surgery such as yours. So what do you have in mind?”
(5 hours of me talking and explaining and laying down the details of everything after.)
Ben: “Ok… Alex, wait. Your conception of a simple project is to do a soundtrack, with Japanese spoken word, based on a poetry essay you did or will do, with a contemplative motion picture to go along with it… Is that all?”
Alex: “Yes, along with interludes featuring fragments of my texts spoken over immersive music made of guitar loops and ambient symphonic reverse effects. I’ll figure out if I want to do some public screenings later on… I’m not there yet.”
Ben: “Cool, because it looks like an 18-month full-time adventure…”
Alex: “Really? I think 3 months with the 2 of us will be ok. I want to take my time and appreciate the journey. Especially if I want to do screenings in Paris, or Tokyo, or Berlin after…”
Ben: “You just said you weren’t there yet…!”
Alex: “True… Well, I don’t have the exact locations, but I know where it could serve the experience.”
Ben: “Alright. When do you want to start exactly?”
Alex: “I already booked you and Momoka a plane ticket. You leave early tomorrow morning, so we’ll jump right in after dinner tomorrow.”
Ben: “… OK. Momoka must be super enthusiastic at the idea!”
Alex: “I’ll explain it all to her tomorrow at dinnertime.”
Ben: “…”
Well, it only took us 4 months to do most of the project. See, I’m not that crazy after all…! It’s all about letting go!
Other Quick Mentions, Specifications, and Answers To Some Of Your Questions
You were numerous to ask questions about those topics over the last couple of months, so I thought it would be a wonderful opportunity for me to give you a few updates about some of them…
Playlists
I will most definitely relaunch my bi-monthly personal playlist… soon! To be honest, I haven’t listened to much music until very recently… A craving for sounds and words is growing more and more within me now, and so is my eagerness to share the reflection of those different moods with you. Stay tuned, as my playlist should reappear sometime in the upcoming weeks, along with your welcomed contributions! It’s a communal adventure, right? 😉
Tour Book
I had the utmost joy of looking at most of the 2022 “Not All Wonders Have Been Lost” tour pictures you sent me and was deeply moved by all the messages you sent along, which makes this project even more significant for me to work on.
The short answer regarding your inquiries about the tour book release date is “I unfortunately don’t know.” My goal would be to do it sometime in the Spring of 2024. One thing is for sure, the book holds a very special place in my heart, meaning I want it to be an equal blessing for you all as well. You know me, you won’t be disappointed. Only a little more patience is required… Not a bad deal after all!
Journal Entries
I haven’t published many entries for my journal “From a Stranger to Another” in the last couple of months. I could blame the surgery, my recovery, MacKaye’s cancer, and whatever else that could come to mind, but the reality can be summarized by the fact that I felt completely empty and dried out emotionally most of the year. I just didn’t have anything worth sharing and there was no point in pretending otherwise, as without honesty, even the most poignant words have no meaningful fulfillment… At least, that’s how I see it.
So now, as new positive sensations are slowly coming back within me, so is my desire to write and share my heart with you once again. And that’s why I learned to cherish… One common word expressed with sincerity is worth more than a million pieces of the most radiant poetry rendered lightly…
Therefore, you can expect more and more editions to be published from now on, which is a very fantastic perspective for me, as it means more life to be celebrated.
Personal Book
That intimate and insightful book has probably been what prevented me from a post-surgery depression, even if I wasn’t able to focus much at the time. The simple fact that I had enough of a positive project to dwell on has been a cure in itself for me. I guess I’m halfway through, even though I haven’t written much recently.
I’m looking forward to resuming the ongoing process during my next trip to Tangier, a place that has been so transformative for me over the years. And if life can hold its unfair share of apathy and cruelty, once in a while, it can be graceful for a moment or two as well… I’m blessed to visit and revisit the multitude of those magnifying moments the book is filled with already.
Upcoming Touring and Postponed Festival Dates
I know that having to postpone all of my summer festival dates and the whole European tour that was supposed to take place this upcoming fall was a major disappointment for you, my dear friends. Trust me, it was incredibly devastating for me and every one of the dedicated team members involved in that whole touring process as well. If I hesitated to postpone at first, I’m thankful that I followed my instinct — and my surgeons’ strong recommendations to push everything I had scheduled concert-wise for 2023 to 2024. I now realize that it will have allowed me to focus on my health (which was necessary and long overdue). That period of time will see me coming back on my feet more firmly, along with offering me the incredible opportunity to channel those still untapped emotions into new upcoming music. This will help me renew my perspective about art, but also about life itself. To find sounds and words to define those sensations is my priority right now.
Therefore, I can positively foresee being on stage with the band starting next summer onward. In what form and capacity? It remains a bit of a mystery for me now… But again, it is a wonderful thing, considering that it will be the upcoming music that will design the next chapter of my creative journey. And so far, the new songs sound pretty uptempo, which is truly inspiring. I guess we’ll discover more of the shape and form they will embody soon enough. The following steps will be the voyage they will lay down before me to embrace and, most wonderfully, to commune, define, and redefine with you. That’s quite a blessed perspective, to say the least.
In addition, you probably have seen some festivals announcing my presence for their 2024 lineup edition already. Many more will do so by the end of the year as well, and I’m deeply grateful for this, as witnessing all that creative life surrounding me is quite a motivational benediction for me.
Thank you again my precious friends and loved ones for that gift of benevolent kindness you offer me every single day, may it be through a message, a comment, a postcard, a letter, a present, or any of the magnificent ways you convey your affection towards me. As I keep saying over and over and over, there are no words to express how profoundly grateful I am for each and every one of you. And now, as music slowly comes back whispering to me, it’s your voices that I hear, murmuring to my heart with healing sounds to trust your invitation for me to keep on rising into the lights once more. It’s a sensational and transformative experience to be able to believe in the beauties of the soul once more…
I want to believe, at this conclusive point of the journal, that I’m presently on a plane with Jeff and Ben, somewhere between Montreal and Casablanca where I’m headed before hopping on a fast train to Tangier to meet up with the producer of my next record. I probably have a whole lot of different ideas about all sorts of multiple projects at that point already. MacKaye’s condition is stable or better. And mostly, my future self, yeah, you future Alex, will have stopped for an instant to enjoy the incredible blessings of his life, no matter how distressing the circumstances can be. And if I had to stay home, for whatever reason, bad or worse, I will look at MacKaye and say how privileged I am to spend a little more time with him… And that, my dear friends, is how I’m trying to address the “now” and the “tomorrow”… by welcoming their nature, in real-time.
I will write to you again real soon.
With love,
AHF